What Is Self-Care, Really?
By Taryn Hollander
Self-care is one of those words or concepts that seems to be becoming more and more popular in our culture. On social media sites like tiktok and instagram, I often see therapists and others recommending “self-care” as an option for dealing with all kinds of stressors and problems that we may encounter in life. But what is self-care, really? And, is it helpful?
Self-care is one of those words or concepts that seems to be becoming more and more popular in our culture. On social media sites like tiktok and instagram, I often see therapists and others recommending “self-care” as an option for dealing with all kinds of stressors and problems that we may encounter in life. But what is self-care, really? And, is it helpful?
Self-care is a concept that means exactly what it sounds like - taking care of you! The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) defines self-care as “taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health”.
This might seem like a no-brainer, but for a lot of us, it can be easier to focus on taking care of others and put aside our own needs to help people we care for like our kids, spouses, family members, and friends. When we consistently neglect our own self-care, however, it can contribute to feelings of stress and deplete our mental and emotional reserves, which can impact our ability to care for others.
Indeed, research does show that when we take time to take care of ourselves, we can lower stress, increase energy levels, and even lower our risk of illness. Taking care of ourselves, both mentally and physically can contribute to increases in overall well-being and aid in preventing burn-out.
Sounds great, right? But how can we make time for self-care when we are already busy with other obligations like work, school, and family concerns? One thing that I’ve often heard from clients is that they don’t have time for self-care, and that adding yet another thing to their mental-load or to-do list feels overwhelming. There seems to be a popular idea that self-care means scheduling a chunk of time for yoga or exercise at the gym, or taking a spa-day. If this seems daunting to you, you are not the only one, and I’m happy to tell you that self-care can be small! Actually, even a small shift in our perception can help us appreciate the ways we are already taking care of ourselves each day.
NIMH recommends getting regular exercise, eating healthy, regular meals and staying hydrated, making sleep a priority, trying to incorporate relaxing activities into your day, setting goals and priorities, including learning how to say “no”, practicing gratitude, focusing on positivity, as well as staying connected to others. These are all important, and in addition, self-care can be simple, like picking a favorite shirt in the morning, or wearing something that makes you feel good. Taking care of basic hygiene, like brushing your teeth in the morning, counts too. Self-care can be as small as an extra deep breath while you enjoy your morning tea or coffee, or a momentary pause to check-in with yourself to just be present. When we engage in these small self-care activities, and give ourselves credit for making these small positive changes, it can add up and contribute to feelings of well-being.
The most important thing about self-care is that it can be whatever works for you, and being gentle with yourself as you try to incorporate self-care into your routine is important too.
If you are engaging in self-care, yet are still experiencing symptoms like: difficulty sleeping, appetite changes that result in unwanted weight changes, struggling to get out of bed in the morning because of mood, difficulty concentrating, loss of interest in things you usually find enjoyable, inability to perform usual daily functions and responsibilities, then please don’t wait until your symptoms are overwhelming. Make an appointment for therapy or counseling to talk to someone who can help you.
